I posted this to my Patreon patrons a couple of weeks ago; now it’s time to widen the audience.
I have been struggling for two years to decide how to write this – what to say, how much context to give, etc. I am trying to strike a balance between making sure people understand what I feel I need to do, and why I have come to these decisions.
I dearly wish I had been more forthcoming with my feelings over the past decade or so, but that simply isn’t who I am. I don’t want to burden people with my issues; I don’t want to be seen as a complainer. So I keep moving, if not always at the same pace. Had I offered more context over time, the rest of this might not have come as so much of a surprise.
As you probably know, Fallingblox Designs has been on hold for the past two years or so, due in large part to circumstances beyond my control which have been claiming my time, leaving me little time for knitting (or, more to the point, knitting-work – which is not quite the same thing, as you will come to understand shortly). These two years have given me some perspective, and a chance to rethink the future of Fallingblox Designs.
Certainly, once my circumstances allowed, I could have committed to simply starting back in where I left off – starting up my virtual workshops again, applying to teach at venues around the country, posting frequently on social media, doing my best to increase sales of my books and patterns, updating my website, engaging with my Patreon followers, sending regular email newsletters, doing the promised work on my newest patterns, maybe even starting in on a new book. Critical readers will, however, notice what is missing in all of that: actually designing and knitting new stuff.
Here’s the bottom line: Fallingblox Designs has recently been much less about knitting, and more about knitting-work – all the stuff that goes along with running this creative small business. This has been a trend that started when I began my first book, and as I have gained more clout in the knitting world, it has only increased. At its peak, I began to think that I might actually be able to make Fallingblox Designs my full-time job. A lot of my decisions since that time have been in service of that end goal, even as I wrestled with the likely consequences of such a change.
In order for Fallingblox Designs to possibly become a full-time job, it had to be making money. And at its peak, it was – in fact, it was making about as much as I was making at my university job, before taxes. Because it was possible (under a particular set of circumstances) for knitting to make money, I fooled myself into thinking it was a viable long-term path. So I began to evaluate the changes I was making based on profitability. I tied my definition of success to the amount of money I was bringing in. And over time, I lost my way – trying to make sure I was getting paid adequately (whatever that means) for the work I was doing. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, what it means for a sole-proprietor is a lot of extra work outside of the core creative stuff without which there would be nothing to support.
Had I actually pulled the trigger and quit my university job, I would have been so screwed when everything changed. XRX (one of my largest single sources of income each year) imploded, we lost our home and my wife lost her well-paying corporate job, all within the span of a couple of years. It is fortunate I was able to fall back on my university job to get health insurance (and my church for a home and second part-time job) – but those events threw into stark relief the flimsy assumptions I was making in my pursuit of a full-time creative small-business career. My income collapsed and the cushion it was relying on was no longer there – and I began to see the folly of this pursuit.
Now, after I’ve had some years to process the reality of the situation, it’s become clear that I need to change some things. These decisions don’t come lightly. What I am now pursuing is a way to return to a simpler process, similar to the way things worked when I was just starting out, perhaps even before I wrote my first book.
Without further ado, here’s what’s about to happen:
- I will be doing a “fire sale” of my physical books and patterns. I will drop their prices to the lowest I can afford, and make sure people understand that this will be their last chance to buy my physical media. I will not be printing more – the digital copies will of course always be available. I have already stopped restocking the Amazon listings. I will no longer pursue a third physical book nor will any subsequent printings be done of my first two.
- I will be releasing all of my video workshops for free on Vimeo initially, and then YouTube. I may choose to re-shoot some of them to ensure the best quality content and remove any legal issues with the public release of content using other people’s likenesses and voices (as these are all recorded from live workshops at the moment). As I have time, I will film new instructional content and also release it in the same way.
- I will be simplifying my website to remove the workshop portals (everyone who currently has access will be given links to the new content, so my claims that workshops purchased will be available for life will still be honored) and all e-commerce; all sales of digital work will be through other sites.
- I will close my social media accounts for Fallingblox Designs, something I have toyed with but never followed through on. People will be encouraged to follow my blog, sign up for my mailing list or join my Patreon.
- I will re-examine the tiers on Patreon as some of the perks will no longer be applicable.
This will not all happen at once – steps 2 and 3 in particular will be very time-consuming in and of themselves, and the scope of both may change as I grapple with the reality of executing them. One way or another, please stay tuned to my blog and/or email list for the most recent updates.
What’s left after all that?
Well, without the pressure of physical media to ship, video workshops to promote and teach, a complex website to update, or social media to keep active so the algorithm doesn’t forget me, I will hopefully have time to get back to the act of creating new and interesting patterns and techniques – on my own time and schedule. People will have unfettered access to the video workshops to learn the techniques, and can still buy my digital books for the patterns and/or non-video technique instructions. Those who want to support my endeavors to expand the reach of double-knitting will be encouraged to join my Patreon or tip me at my Ko-Fi page.
I will still be available to teach virtually and in-person as requested, but I fully expect my release of workshop content for free will diminish interest in live workshops – but who knows? The additional exposure could well increase interest. We’ll see.
To all those creators who can manage to juggle all of this, keep creating, and remain nominally sane, more power to you. That just isn’t me and never really has been. I hope I won’t come to regret these changes, as they will be very difficult to undo – but at my age, I doubt very much that I will regret making less work for myself and rekindling my love for the act of creation. If you’re in the same boat, wherever you are in your journey, I highly recommend you be honest with yourself as early in your process as you can be; it will save you grief later.
There’s a lot more to this story – and I may choose to share some more of the personal details on my Patreon later.